NavList:
A Community Devoted to the Preservation and Practice of Celestial Navigation and Other Methods of Traditional Wayfinding
Don't be a jerk (an essay)
From: Frank Reed
Date: 2007 Nov 24, 02:35 -0500
From: Frank Reed
Date: 2007 Nov 24, 02:35 -0500
Here's something I've been meaning to post for a while on general etiquette issues for online communities: It's an essay entitled "Don't Be a Jerk": The FUNDAMENTAL Principle: "Don't be a jerk" is the fundamental rule of all online social spaces. Every other policy for getting along is a special case of it. Although nobody in this community is empowered to ban or block somebody for being a jerk (as this would be an instance of being a jerk!), it is still a bad idea to be one. So don't do it. No definition of being a jerk is being provided here. This is deliberate. If a significant number of reasonable people suggest, whether bluntly or politely, that you are being a jerk, the odds are good that you are not entirely in the right. Being right about an issue does not mean you're not being a jerk. Jerks CAN be right � but they're still jerks; if there's something in what they say that is worth hearing, it goes unheard, because no one likes listening to jerks. It doesn't matter how right they are. COPING with Being Called a Jerk: If you've been labeled as a jerk, especially if you have been told this by several people in a particular community, it might be wise to consider the possibility that it is true. If you suspect that you may be a jerk, the first step is to become aware of it. Ask yourself what behavior might be causing this perception. Try changing your behavior and your mode of presentation. In particular, identify the harsh words in your communications and replace them with softer ones. Honestly examine your motivations. Are you here to contribute constructively? Or is your goal really to find fault, get your views across, or be the one in control? Perhaps secretly inside you even enjoy the thrill of a little confrontation. This may not make you a bad person, but to everyone else, you become an impediment. People get frustrated, rancor ensues, the atmosphere changes, and the whole community suffers. Are you here to give, or to take? If appropriate, publicly apologize to anyone to whom you may have appeared to be a jerk. It's okay; this won't make you seem weak. On the contrary, people will take notice of your willingness to cooperate and will almost always meet your efforts with increased respect. Telling someone "Don't be a jerk" can easily be a jerk-move in itself, so don't use this criticism lightly. This creates an obvious conundrum. It Takes TWO: It takes two to have a disagreement. You can't argue with yourself. If you're involved in a dispute that has become emotional or rude, blame yourself first. It's always a good place to start. If after careful reflection you sincerely believe that you are not at fault, then your best bet may be to step back for a few days. NOTE: most of the above text is borrowed from an essay on Wikipedia. There are a few little additions here and some minor editorial changes, but there is also one rather large change in the original vocabulary which I felt would be more appropriate for NavList. If you would like to read the original, follow this url: http://tinyurl.com/zrlga -FER --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ To post to this group, send email to NavList@fer3.com To , send email to NavList-@fer3.com -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---