A Community Devoted to the Preservation and Practice of Celestial Navigation and Other Methods of Traditional Wayfinding
From: Greg B
Date: 2021 Feb 22, 20:30 -0800
HEADLINE NEWS: A school teacher was arrested early today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" as well as a code device that he claimed was a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns."